The ending was an unexpected one, and I was not fully satisfied by it. The story moved without hurdles and was very well written. The narration was engaging and the word choices were excellent. This is a writer who trusts her reader, and it shows. The story works without Eric, but the sisters are fleshed out beautifully. This author knows these characters inside and out. The switches are not always clean, but this is not an easy task to master, and those that do, make a career of this. The POV switches from 1st to 2nd person with purpose. It is because of this underlying empowerment of the characters to not simply be subject to fate, but to have freedom to remake themselves, to rise from their ashes and smile. There is an admirable balance of light and shadow – these characters are able to see the humour in their situation, and their scars have been remade into something they have chosen: tattoos of their choice. And yet the story is not so much a story as a tumble of characterisation, compelling, but the writer, who is undoubtedly talented, could develop the story aspect more. The characters are survivors, and yet they’re still able to laugh their trials are created with memorable imagery etched onto their bodies and the reader’s imagination. But that structure is questionable – why July to December? What is the significance of that period? Why does the reader need to conceptualise the story within those months. What stands out in this story are the wonderfully vivid descriptions and elegant turns of phrase right up to the last lines: ‘An orchestra of road-raged honks and blaring sirens soundtracks our brief pause.’ There is a stream of consciousness feeling to the way memories and moments flow from July to December.
The writer managed to tackle a lot in a clear and concise writing style, and that’s the core of short fiction writing. The story explores addiction, mental health, abuse, and sexuality so well that it left me wanting to read more about the two siblings, their lovers, friendships and their troubling childhood. I enjoyed the narrative voice and the alternation between first and second person.
Short story writing challenge free#
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